How to prepare to change your future
Part 8, Starting Over Again
A Continuing Series on Getting on with Your Life
by Harlan L. Jacobsen
SINGLES DIE SEVEN YEARS SOONER THEN THEIR MARRIED COUNTERPARTS
Becoming single and other major life changes all piled on at once take their toll in lowering your life expectancy. Lowering it to something like seven years less then those that stay married throughout their lifetime. Just because you become a single does not have to lower your life expectancy. One of the major factors singles deal with repeatedly is the stress of separation.
SINGLES ARE INTO AND NEED TO HANDLE MUCH MORE CHANGE THEN MARRIED'S
Relationships come and go with mini-divorces all along the line and if you do not have a good method of handling this and other major life changes that singles go through, it can eat you up from the inside out and not only lower your life expectancy, it can, as we have repeatedly stated, age you far before your time.
SOME SINGLES NOT ONLY HANDLE CHANGE, THEY THRIVE ON IT. You may have known people that seemed to take ten years off their age when they became single and have become a bundle of enthusiasm about life in general.
SOMEONE ELSE YOU KNOW IN BECOMING SINGLE HAS AGED TEN YEARS AND HARDLY HAS THE ENERGY LEVEL TO MAKE IT THROUGH ANOTHER DAY
The difference is that one welcomes change as a challenge, the other handles change as a threat to their very existence.
One has learned how to unwind from stress, the other accumulates stress.
WE SUGGESTED LEARNING MEDITATION AS ONE METHOD OF UN-STRESSING YOUR BODY
It is a simple method you can use to unwind, to gain strength in your life and to make some profound changes for the better over the rest of your life.
Originating in the far east, it has withstood the test of centuries.
THE NEWEST METHOD OF OVERCOMING STRESS AND INVOKING THE RELAXATION RESPONSE IS BIO-FEEDBACK, DONE WITH A MACHINE
This is a method you can learn in a few sessions of being attached to a machine that simply indicates to you by a tone or other method when you are becoming relaxed or closer to the state.
SOME EVEN BUY THEIR OWN
Machines cost from small sums to several hundred dollars but you only need them for a few hours to learn how to relax at will. After that, the machine is of little value to you.
PROFESSIONAL CHARGES TO LEARN BY BIO-FEEDBACK VARY
The professionals that teach you how to invoke the relaxation response using their bio-feedback machines charge all the way from $50 to several hundreds of dollars to learn the technique. It is a method that works and once learned, you seem to be able to retain the ability to get into the relaxed (un-uptight) condition whenever you feel the need. If you choose this method, you will probably be working with professionals that have some fine machines and refined perfected methods of teaching you how to do it. There's little we can add to that.
NOW WE COME TO THE METHOD OF UN-STRESSING AND CHANGING YOUR LIFE THAT WE RECOMMEND THE MOST OFTEN
The success rate with this has been fantastic. You don't have to leave your house to take instruction and you don't have to pay anyone any money. (We have, however, ran into singles who have paid up to $1,500 to professional therapists to learn this technique. The advantage when you pay $1,500 is you use it, you value it and you get your money's worth in results.)
WHAT WE GIVE YOU FREE YOU PROBABLY WON'T USE. IT TAKES SELF DISCIPLINE TO DO THIS ON YOUR OWN
You say you'll have to do this next week, next month or some day... Postpone postpone..... When you pay $1,500, you do it right now, which is when you really need it.
NOTHING YOU DO TODAY OR TOMORROW IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN LEARNING TO UNWIND, TO RELEASE THE BUILT UP TENSION.
Not your job, not your children not even your health, because all of these things depend on you getting out of the stress situation right away.
You will need basically two things, a cassette or some other type of recorder-player and some tape for it. (Borrowing a recorder is okay.) You will need the two issues of this paper and a firm decision that you want to get from the miserables to the good life without a lot of stress.
THE METHOD IS A FORM OF SELF HYPNOSIS OR SELF SUGGESTION THAT WORKS
You can literally change your life in a remarkably short period of time. Those who have used and followed through with it have almost without exception noticed a remarkable change in the quality of their life for the better. It has so many fringe benefits that we feel that anybody that does not use this easy method to get past the miserables deserves to stay miserable.
YOU DO HAVE AN OPTION TO MOVE OUT TO A BETTER FEELING AND A BETTER LIFE. THIS DOES WORK
But you have to decide and then stick with it. It takes just 15 minutes a day, 3 times a day and you need to stick with it for at least two weeks. It is easy, it is refreshing and it is fun.
FIRST YOU NEED TO THINK ABOUT SOMETHING FOR AWHILE (UNTIL THE NEXT PAPER COMES OUT).
What would you really like to have happen in the rest of your life? What would you like to see happening one year from now? 2 months from now?
MOST PEOPLE SPEND MORE TIME FIGURING OUT WHAT THEY WANT TO DO NEXT WEEKEND THAN WHAT THEY WANT TO DO WITH THE REST OF THEIR LIFE...................
It requires a lot of effort and self discipline to set new goals. The self hypnosis relaxation tape, in addition to invoking the relaxation response, can get your life in order, quiet down anxiety and make decision-making a snap. You will find your goals becoming true for you far faster then you ever thought possible and you will enjoy the trip getting there.
SETTING GOALS IS A MAJOR STEP IN ADJUSTING TO DIVORCE AND MOVING INTO A HAPPY SINGLE LIFE.
As a newly divorced person, you should take inventory and see what you are now and what you are capable of becoming.
Learn to live for yourself and do the things you want to do. Decide what you want to do with your life.
Many people complain they do not know what they would like to do. One of the reasons is that up until now, whatever they did was determined by what someone else wanted. Now, perhaps for the very first time, it is entirely up to you. Do your own thing, concentrating on your strengths, your strong points, not your weaknesses. No man is free who is not master of himself.
THE ESTABLISHMENT OF A GOAL IS THE KEY TO SUCCESSFUL LIVING
To set your new life goals as a single person, set aside 30 minutes a day for the next two weeks, list the ideas you come up with for new goals each day. The idea is to eventually pick the best one.
GETTING ENOUGH DISCIPLINE TO SET DOWN AND ARRIVE AT NEW GOALS IS THE MAJOR PROBLEM FOR THE NEWLY SINGLED.
Goals are simply check-up points on the way to a dream or purpose. The journey is the exciting part and you can start that journey right now. You are achieving success the minute you organize all of your forces to achieve the goal. Your subconscious is the quarterback of your single life. It calls the plays for you but you must coach it properly so it knows what plays to call. If you give your mental quarterback the proper positive instructions, you will succeed with ease in accomplishing a happy single life, provided that is in your new goal.
When you give your subconscious confusing, conflicting instructions, it gets all tied up in knots. When you give your quarterback worry, anxiety, fear, doubt, you are paralyzing his ability to win the game of a happy single life. When you are calm, self confident and giving your quarterback positive instructions and goals (the name of the game), then it functions ingeniously and calls all the right plays to win the game.
RIGHT NOW YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS PROBABLY DOES NOT EVEN KNOW WHAT THE NAME OF THE GAME IS. HOW CAN IT WIN? ? ?
Your quarterback is constantly acting on what you are feeding it. (Remember, it has no judgment and does not sort what you give it...it accepts.) Lately you have probably been giving it a lot of negative input so you have been getting negative results.
Next issue we will get into your new life goals and how to make the relaxation tape that will put you on the road to a better life by getting new goals across to your subconscious at the same time. This can turn your life around in short order and make the entire trip a joy rather then a lot of stress.