Good or bad?
What is your rejection rate?
Harlan Jacobsen Copyright ©
REJECTION IS EMOTIONAL TURMOIL.
“What the mind causes, it can cure.
When something is not working for you it is because you have a
faulty belief system or assumption. Garbage
programming. Garbage in means
garbage out. You have carried
into adulthood some childhood programming (that’s immaturity). Your rejection programming is obsolete and keeps your life
from working as an adult.
As a child most people’s parents (whether you remember them
telling you or not is immaterial) kept telling you if you acted “that way” or “were bad,”
wouldn’t like you.
Your belief became if you were good and okay everybody would like
you. If they didn’t it was
because you weren’t acting right or you were bad.
You got the idea that everybody was supposed to like you or you
were supposed to do what was necessary for everybody to like you.
If they didn’t all like you, you didn’t measure up or you were
If everyone doesn’t now honor or support you, you still
erroneously conclude you are defective.
1. Try harder and
harder to have everyone like you.
2. Try harder and
harder to be really “nice.”
3. Your goal becomes
to have everyone like or accept you.
To be ahead of others.
RESULT: —YOU WEAR
YOURSELF OUT. YOU SUFFER FROM
EXTREME ANXIETY, FRUSTRATION. You
can never reach this impossible goal.
It isn’t you that’s defective; you only have a defective goal.
CHANGE YOUR GOAL. CHANGE
YOUR PROGRAMMING. Get rid of
your old programming on rejection using this affirmation:
“I have discarded my need for ap-proval and acceptance by other
people and have placed no time expectations on those that do accept me. I make no demands and have no expectations of others.”
To get this reprogramming through to your subconscious (computer
central), use one of the following:
1. Put it on a card
and read it several times daily.
2. Or recopy it
several times a day.
3. Use self-hypnosis
(explained in other issues).
4. Use transcendental
Put it in a prayer form three times a day.
Use one of the above methods three times a day for at least two
weeks and you will no longer have rejection and the fear of rejection
controlling your life and well-being.
WE KNOW YOU DON’T REALLY WANT TO GIVE UP YOUR OLD GOAL BUT IT IS
A NO-WIN SITUATION.
In EST training they used to tell you about experiments with rats.
You have a test lab situation with a rat and five tunnels.
You put the cheese at the end of tunnel number four.
The rat finds it. If
he discovers that’s where it is he stops looking in the other tunnels
and for weeks always goes up tunnel 4.
Then you move the cheese to tunnel #2.
That rat will keep going up and down tunnel number four for a long
time. Eventually he will look
in the other tunnels and find the cheese, eventually giving up tunnel #4.
The difference between man and the rat is that man will go up and
down tunnel #4 the rest of his life because that is the “right”
tunnel. He doesn’t get the
cheese, but he’s
Well, you can keep running up and down tunnel number four and keep
your old programming that everybody should accept and like you but you
won’t get any cheese. Or
you can give up on being right and get the cheese by changing your
programming to winning (getting the cheese).
You have insisted on what you’re doing is right, because it is
the sure-fire way. Yet you
know it hasn’t been working. “EVERYONE
SHOULD LIKE ME.” GIVE UP ON
THAT. YOU DON’T GET THE
CHEESE WITH THAT PROGRAMMING OR GOAL.
We say “Happiness is the absence of approval-seeking as a
We say, “Happiness is thriving on rejection.”
Let us assume that you are right with your old programming and that
it was practical and healthy. “Everybody
must accept me.” Think
about: Who do you know that
gets the most approval? What
are they like? How do they
behave? What attracts
Think about it. It is
the very people that don’t seek or need your approv-al.
They’re independent of other’s opinions and are fulfilled.
They tell it like it is, despite consequences.
Tact and diplomacy are less important than honesty.
They are not involved in game playing, they are not careful to say
it just right to avoid hurt feelings.
THE VERY PEOPLE WHO SEEK APPROVAL THE MOST, GET THE LEAST.
Those who do not need approval get the most.
So you see your present programming seeking approval is
Now we all know it is less risky to hang on to old familiar
programming, even though it doesn’t work.
It has some neurotic payoffs.
After you read this article and do nothing you will have reduced
your “rejection cripple” status by only about 5%.
If you use the affirmation 3 times a day for two (preferably three)
weeks, you will probably reduce your rejection problem 75% in that time.
In addition if you do some of the exercises we suggest and also get
out and practice rejection, in a short time we can guarantee you will like
it and have a new attitude about rejection.
You will appreciate what rejection does for you.
It saves kissing a lot of toads.
We tell a story of a plumbing salesman that goes to state plumbing
con-ventions all over the country. Each
conven-tion about 500 plumbers walk by his booth there at the convention.
About 50 really show some interest in his products.
Five actually order something.
Three reorder in the future and one becomes a regular cus-tomer
over a period of time.
500 exposed to his product,
50 show some interest,
3 reorder late,
1 becomes a long term customer.
Now that is the law of averages and it works for all salesmen.
Numbers and percentages vary by the product and also by the
As a single we say your prospects are about the same. You go where singles are and are out to see and be seen over
time by 500 different (it takes a thousand; —half are the wrong sex)
people (prospects). Fifty
will talk to you, dance or make some con-tact.
Five will get a phone number, call or see you again or have some
further contact. Three will
date you and you will have one relationship that lasts over some period of
If you have a more attractive pro-duct it may take less or if you
are not good as a salesman you may require more (up to a thousand). So improving the product, the packaging and learning how to
be single successfully will change the figures some-what, but basically
you are still working with the same figures.
500 opposite sex at singles —dances, parties, etc.
50 talk to you
5 further contact
3 date you
When you like rejection you can get through the 499 much quicker
and more happily and get to the one you want that really accepts you over
a period of time.
BE ANGRY OR UPSET ONLY WITH THOSE
REJECTION CRIPPLES WHO WASTE YOUR TIME PRETENDING TO LIKE YOU.
A. If they become
aware that you do not need approval, they will be able to reject you right
B. If they are too
chicken to reject you, you usually get a little involved and then,
resenting it, they finally reject you after an investment of time,
REMEMBER, LEARN TO LIKE REJECTION.
499 single people really don’t
accept you. One does.
How can you get to that one if all the other 499 waste your time or
you insist they accept and bust a gut using up all your energy trying to
get them to accept you?
How can you not reject people or be rejected and have time to get
to the people who really accept you?
can’t. Like rejections and
get out and practice rejecting honestly and practice being rejected.
You cannot learn how to do something without doing it. Aristotle said to learn how to play the flute, you have to
play the flute.
NEXT ISSUE - REJECTION:
How to do it and like it.
Tell Your Divorced Or Widowed Friends About This Article And Site, Send Them This Page Or If They Do Not Have A PC, Print Out The Article For Them