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Major Mistakes To Avoid When Adjusting To Single Life

2001 Harlan Jacobsen

Major common mistakes include deciding you must be married to be happy and therefore making that quest your number one priority.  "I know how to be married.  I see myself as married and I can not be happy until I am married again."  So in a short time,  married again.... and divorced again.  Their goal never was to be happy, only to be married. So they buy a wash and wear wedding gown and just keep trying. They never learned to be happy on their own and their new mate decides it is just too big a job.

Complete disclosure of this subject in our archive series on recovering from divorce. Another common mistake is going bananas (extremes) and dating everything and everybody that says, "Hi," to the max...to the complete neglect of other facets of their life.  Or the other extreme of withdrawing and avoiding all contact with the opposite sex. Not even neutral contact with any member of the opposite sex, in any function, in any way that may even provide an opportunity to talk to the opposite sex. These extremes will often mimic a roller coaster ride.  Extreme initial dating can result in an emotionally disastrous ending with total withdrawal from all dating for years to come.

The archive series on dating again.  Failing to recognize that as a single person you continue to have normal needs, is a major mistake. You need to recognize them as normal.  You must learn to handle and fulfill those needs in an acceptable way as a single person that improves life.  These normal needs should not remain unfulfilled.

Articles on the subject will be found in archives and in some of our dating series. Many make the mistake of concluding that somehow they must be defective or they would not be single and that not only they, but other singles are all defective or rejects from the "normal world."  They are being forced to associate with misfits. When they get near the dating world, they find it nothing like when they were last single at 20 and now no one seems even slightly interested.  They feel each rejection confirms that they have lost it and life is all but over for them.

This is a personal misguided programming problem we take up in many articles.

 *New articles and additional parts of serial series are posted on the web and appear in our Singles Monthly  Newspapers.


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