Good Divorce Lawyers Tell You Bad News
Guest Author, Anne Kass, - a retired District Judge of Albuquerque, New Mexico

I have heard people who are thinking about getting a divorce say, "I want the meanest, toughest attorney I can find. I want a fighter." I always shudder and say that a fighter is the last thing anyone should want in a lawyer.

Fighter-attorneys may make a client feel good as they harass and humiliate the other spouse, but fighter-attorneys cost tons of money and they always make things worse--for both parties.

So, what are the characteristics of a good lawyer in divorce cases?

First, the hallmark of a good lawyer is that he or she will tell a client things the client does not want to hear. A good lawyer gives clients bad news.

In divorce cases there is always a good deal of bad news to be given.
    --There will not be enough money to maintain the standard of living the family is used to.

    --Often the family residence will have to be sold.

    --Each parent will spend less time with the children because there will be a second home in which the children will spend time.

    --The children may begin to misbehave or do poorly in school or exhibit other unfortunate problems, which will consume more time, energy and possibly money to pay counselors to try to solve.


The list of bad news goes on and on. The fighter-attorney fails to warn the client--allows, or even encourages, the client to hold on to unrealistic expectations. The good lawyer does not.

Clients sometimes say to a lawyer who tells them what they do not want to hear, "Whose side are you on anyway?" But a good lawyer is on the client's side when they explain reality.

Another sign of good lawyers is that they get along with one another. They are courteous to one another, and they are able to trust one another. They exchange information promptly. They cooperate. Fighter-attorneys do all sorts of stuff to aggravate the other side, which may provide a perverse kind of pleasure while it is happening, but in the end, non-cooperation between lawyers generates enormous legal fees and it increases the bitter feelings between the parties which ultimately damages their lives and the lives of their children. People who hire fighter-attorneys can expect a scorched-earth result. They are often surprised to discover they themselves have to live on that scorched earth.

Divorcing couples are wise to hire lawyers who are peace-makers and problem-solvers. Look for a lawyer who has gone to the trouble of getting mediation training, and watch out for attorneys who do not tell you things you do not want to hear



For more Anne Kass articles, go here to select from complete list of 97 articles

For listing of over 200 helpful staff articles on Divorce, go here

Home





Tell Your Divorced Or Widowed Friends About This Article And Site, Send Them This Page Or If They Do Not Have A PC, Print Out The Article For Them
Good Divorce Lawyers Tell You Bad News
Send this article to a friend
Read over 300 "Life Changing" recovery articles, click here

Top of Page ||  Divorce Recovery 101 Index

Divorce
Recovery 101 .com
Divorce Recovery Support Group With Divorce Help, Advice, Tips, Divorce Law, Statistics And Information


Divorce Adjustment Help
Home



Divorce Recovery Site Map
Divorce Recovery
Site Map



Divorce Questions and Answers

Divorce Questions
& Answers
Read and/or Submit



Personal Message?
Personal Message?
CONTACT US


Online Support Friends Singles Chat
Online Support Friends Singles Chat



Free Divorce Newsletter
Free Divorce Newsletter
Sign Up Here


Free 5 Day Email Divorce Course
Free 5 Day Email Divorce Course
Sign Up Here


 Life Changing Recovery Articles
Read and Study over 300 "Life Changing" recovery articles, click here


Privacy Policy Reprint Our Articles
Reprint Our Articles
Information Here



1000 Helpful Single Life Links
1000 Helpful Single Life Links
go here



About Us
About Us
go here



Feel free to make suggestions
Please tell us how we are doing.
Feel free to make suggestions
Do it here



Help Others Find This Link To Us
How To Link To Us
Help Others Find This Site



Send This Page to "Divorcing Friends"
Send This Page to "Divorcing Friends",
easy form



Read Letters From Divorced Folks
Read Letters From Divorced Folks Like Yourself,
Read Mail




working on a great  as a single person
Single Life Coach  
is our site for those worked thru their divorce and are working on a great new life as a single person



Dating Again 101

Dating Again 101 is our new site for help in getting back into the dating world successfully



Free Dating Again newsletter edited by Harlan Jacobsen
Sign up for 
Free Dating Again newsletter of tips to help make new  relationships a part of your life. Edited by Harlan.


Search Articles
by keyword

Search our site:

search tips

search all 7 sites