This life event deserves special attention
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divorced people have a difficult time realizing or accepting the fact that
the relationship is dead.
A widow or widower has an advantage to re-adjusting. The funeral ceremony is very final.
Some realize life is for the living and they accept their loss and adjust to it. They can
get on with living.
Now, someone has come up with a divorce ceremony conducted by a minister. The children
attend...and each of the divorced agree to be fair and kind to one another. If this is
a beautiful ceremony it may help to make it very final with a definite ending. It would
also help the children to understand that mommy and daddy had agreed not to live together
or love one another any more.
Some time ago I heard of a divorcee who would not accept the fact her relationship had ended
to the degree that she and the children still set a place for him at the supper table every
night...like he might return at any time. This was two years after the divorce and despite
the fact her "ex" had remarried! Some do have a hard time letting go and accepting the
fact that the relationship is dead.
This is equivalent to the funeral service for a relationship that is dead, which I have often
recommended. Unlike the uptight hassle of the day in court where the participant doesn't know
how they will fare through the judicial "crap game" dividing property with no predictable
outcome or consistency, a divorce ceremony can be relaxed and helpful.
The parties involved have nothing to lose and much to gain psychologically from such a
ceremony. In fact, you might even invite a few friends.
This may be a major breakthrough in helping to adjust to a divorce.
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