Dear Divorcerecovery101.com - From anjenette lopez in tampa,fl (07/02/09-20:29)
if the father does not pay childsupport do i have to let him see my son |
Dear anjenette lopez,
This, of course, is a legal question, but looks to me like these are seperate issues.
You are ordered to allow him visitation, he is ordered to make child support payments.
If he fails to comply this does not give you an excuse to comply with the court ruling.
You can legally collect if he does not pay. Lets say he owes you 5k in back child support,
you can, as I understand it, eventually collect it like any other court ordered payment. You can file a lien on his house or any other property or even his bank account or paycheck to collect like any other credıtor that has a court ordered amount due.
He can go back to court to enforce his visitation rights and get you penalized perhaps for failing to comply with a court order. All more legal costs for you and it is to your childs advantage to have contacts with his father and should not penalize your childs rights by trying to get even with your ex for not paying timely. It is collectable and visitation is a court order also.
Regards,
Harlan Jacobsen
|
|
Dear Divorcerecovery101.com - From Cheryl in , (07/02/09-20:29)
Thank you for your help. I am also feeling guilty because he is saying I am the one who "messed" all our lives up to. Thats killing me and has me thinking maybe I did....I told him that he wasnt "present" in our lives for a long time, but he thinks things were just fine...Thats because he had the best of both worlds...married life with kids when it was convenient for him...but my guilt is still there..... |
Dear Cheryl,
Cheryl,
Well, in the divorce process, the contest is to see who can sell the other one on "it ended and it's your fault."
That makes it okay for me leaving a relationship cause it "wasn't my fault", (if I can sell you that it was your fault.)
No need to buy into it.... doesn't matter---humpty dumpty is broke and all the kings men can't put them back together, so move on down the road.
Likely, if you play your cards right, you will say a year from now..."my divorce was the best thing I ever did."
Get busy with the "gonna bes". No time for the "what wases"...that (and him) is over.
Regards,
Harlan
|
|
Dear Divorcerecovery101.com - From cheryl in , (07/02/09-20:29)
I have filed for divorce after 17 years of marriage. We have 2 sons, ages 7 and 13. I really felt like We grew apart, we did everything seperate..i did things with the kids and him alone. 6 months ago I started talking to a childhood male friend....started havning feeling for him , just hearing the things he talked about and how hiw life is and what type of person he is, is what i want. My husband never spent time with the kids..did his own thing....so....i feel very guilty, i am happy now hes moved out, but i really made no effort to try to fix things with us. I do not miss him right now, nor his ways, but are my second thoughts normal???? |
Dear cheryl,
Cheryl,
Everybody goes through the 'did I do the right thing' thoughts. You have for a long time mixed feelings, a roller coaster of it was the best thing I ever did, was getting a divorce, and next thing you are feeling it is the worse thing you ever did.
Eventually it all settles down to 'it was the best thing I ever did', as you get your new better life in order.
So just hang in there!
Harlan
|
|
Dear Divorcerecovery101.com - From brian dg in New York City,New York (07/02/09-20:29)
Would be ok if me and my husband were to file an online divorce? We're really looking for a way to have a cheap divorce and maybe online is the way to do it? Any ideas would help.
|
Dear brian dg,
Not sure what the online twist is but you can pick up do it yourself blank paper work divorce papers in most stationary stores etc. Most made for your particular state.
The basic concept is that you agree on what is being settled on. If all settled there is not a real need for an attorney if you do the paper work right.
My suggestion is if one thinks they are coming out short, that both go to an attorney together, buy an hours worth of his time on an agreed on in a dance cost and see what he says would normally be a fair settlement if a judge handled it. Since he is advising both he has no interest in pushing one side or the other.
Once you have the terms agreed on you can do your own papers or again just hire an hours of an attorney time to get your paper work right. Most can do it themselves. If it doesn't work the first time, you just do it again if something not correct.
Regards,
Harlan Jacobsen
|
|
Dear Divorcerecovery101.com - From May in Los Angeles,Ca (07/02/09-20:29)
My husband moved in with another drug addict (crack). We have been married for 7 years, I has moved on obviously but he still has some clothes here, is there a possibility to reconcile this type of marriage? |
Dear May,
May,
Not sure why you would want to continue on with something that obviously is not working and is not going to work for you, so you have to deal with reality here....what is. Move on, this is over, you deserve better and will only get it if you move on.
I would box up his clothes and drop them off at one of his relatives etc. Get this and all contact over and done with.
Good Luck,
Harlan Jacobsen
|
|
|