Bury Your Marriage, It Died

Bury your marriage, it died
Harlan Jacobsen Copyright 2005

You are divorced....(even if you have not completed the paperwork...)

You can't fix or change what you don't acknowledge.

Your long term relationship has died.

We don't want to admit to others or to ourselves that we have a problem. That is why AA considers it so important for members to say the words: "I am an alcoholic".

We tell you it is very important that you admit to yourself...."I am DIVORCED. I am now a "single" person.

Instead, you say to yourself...the divorce is not final...yet.. they may come to their senses and come back etc. etc.

You must deal with reality, marriage is "what was", DIVORCED is what is.

Sure, you can kid yourself and pretend you are in "crazy making" no mans land...half way between marriage and divorced. There is no half way house. There is no being put on "hold".

(the stage of paper work of divorce is not to be confused with or used to muddy up the emotional or factual end or death of a relationship.)

Our best method of explaining it is, your faithful long time horse, (marriage) died.

What you have been doing is "beating on this dead horse" of yours and trying to get it to come back to life.... You could always revive ti before.....

How long are you going to keep beating on what you and everybody else now know is a dead horse.....??????

It is not just a little dead, it is fully dead.
If is like being a little pregnant....there is no such thing....

Why did my horse have to die? This should not have happened to me....

We say, trying to figure out why your horse died wont help right now.....you just need to admit your horse is dead,....and before your life starts to smell even worse....bury your dead horse... and move on down the road.

Whether it is fear, an addiction, or a bad habit, etc, the first step is to admit that there is a problem. Acknowledge what is not working in your life.

Pretending to yourself, that you are still in a relationship that has died keeps your life from working.


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Bury Your Marriage, It Died
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