Babysitting and the divorce budget are two interconnected
plague most singles with custody of the children.
If you could just eliminate your divorced caused babysitting expenses,
you could make ends meet, you say.
- Or, if I didn't
have to pay a babysitter, maybe I could afford to go out once in
Then the question comes up -- should you ask or expect your
date to help pay for your babysitter when you go out?
This has been batted
around for a long time and the consensus of opinion seems
to be that the ethics involved call for you to pay for your baby
sitter and he pays the date expenses.
- After all,
he is dating you -- not your children and he shouldn't
have to choose between dating you or someone.
else on the basis of whether you have children or not.
The fact that you have children is not exactly a dating plus in
the first place and you shouldn't add to it by expecting him to
come up with extra money to date you because
you have children.
- If he just drives across town to see you and
drives down to the park, he has two or three dollars worth or car
expenses you don't have. If he buys you an ice cream sundae, his
overhead already may exceed your babysitting bill.
dates are movie dates, etc., he has more expenses for the date than you do.
is probably paying child support that
is going in part to pay for his ex's babysitting expenses and
he is probably just as strapped for money as you are.
- Now if you can't
go out tonight because you don't have babysitting money
and he is loaded and volunteers to
pay your babysitting tab -- fine -- but normally
don't ask or expect him to pay your babysitting.
- If he does, he
may not be able to afford to take you out again soon
-- no matter how prosperous he looks.
- Remember, that
car and clothes he probably bought when he was still only
supporting one household.
If you want to cut your babysitting expenses
to zero, find another woman that has children of
the same age and when you go out, drop your children off
at her house and when she goes out, she drops hers off
at your place --either picking them up when she gets home or in the morning.
- The kids have
a great time playing together and it gets to be
fun for them if you choose wisely.
is that when you both go out at the same time, one of you brings
your children to the other's house and you split the cost of
If you want to cut your costs to zero
and you live in a town house or apartment complex, set up a formal
baby sitting cooperative.
- You have a form
that you can fill out and sign when some other member watches
your children, you sign it and the babysitting cooperative
charges you with that
When you sit for someone
else's children, then you are credited for
that many hours.
- There are club rules,
of course, that keep things running smoothly but no money
can eliminate babysitting bills by cooperating
with other mothers with the same problem -- whether they be
married or single.
- If you would like
information on setting up a cooperative (it should
be people all in the same vicinity), your library has
articles or go to http://ixquick.com/ and enter
"babysitting cooperative" and you will get a long
list of sites with all the details.
Schedule some dates
and take the children along if mutually agreeable.
- Some single fathers
miss doing things with the kids.
You should expect to pick up the tab for the kids' expenses
but he pays yours.
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